KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: Yeah, We Totally Should’ve Let Germany Have France After WWII. “Emmanuel Macron is one of the biggest weasels on the international stage. He’s also one of those European leaders who doesn’t grasp that his country and continent are vestigial shadows that have very few things to contribute to the free world. France could have been useful here, but Manny Mac opted to flush harder as his country swirls down the toilet.”
April 1, 2026
EVERYTHING. IT SAYS EVERYTHING.
What does it say about American media that I hear about this from my Japanese friends and not Americans?
— Bernadette (@princessbernie) April 1, 2026
VDH: The Two Wars for Iran: The War in a Historical Context.
The administration needs to counter left-wing and far-right hysteria about the supposedly undue influence of Israel.
Israel and the U.S. have many shared agendas—not all, but many—and weakening Iran in this operation is certainly at the top of their shared list. We realize that because we are powerful and at a distance from Iran, while Israel is nearer and more vulnerable, it will, from time to time, have different views of and solutions to Iran’s existential threats and must operate for its own national self-interest, as we do for our own.
But when our national interests dovetail—no terrorist entity has killed more Americans in the last half-century than has Iran—then we are proud and lucky to partner with Israel, a democracy and free society with a formidable record of military competency and a larger air force than any of our NATO partners—including Turkey, France, the UK, and Germany.
Despite the frenzy, the military side of the operation has gone particularly well, often conducted in brilliant fashion. But the hysterical politics of the war have been dangerous to the degree that it now threatens the very mission itself.
That’s the real Vietnam Syndrome, and we have yet to find an effective counter to it.
WHAT IF THE GREENLAND CAPER WAS ACTUALLY ABOUT SMOKING OUT HOW WILLING — AND EVEN EAGER — OUR “ALLIES” WERE TO GO TO WAR WITH US?
In January, Iran had a stronger Navy than Canada.
Now Iran’s navy has been sunk.
I hope everyone now understands how completely full of 💩 Mark Carney is. https://t.co/bgMaQ9mkMr
— John Ʌ Konrad V (@johnkonrad) April 1, 2026
WHY IS HIGHER EDUCATION SUCH A CESSPIT OF ANTISEMITISM? As Yale’s Jewish Population Declines to 1940s Quota Levels, University Leaders Say Jewish Community is ‘Thriving.’
To be fair, “university leaders” lie a lot.
TO BE FAIR, THEY’RE ALWAYS OUTRAGED WHEN WE’RE WINNING:
General Caine casually says the air campaign in Iran is shifting to "dynamic targets". What does this mean and why should we care?
Dynamic targets are unplanned or unanticipated objectives that have become known in near-real time to the intelligence surveillance and…
— wretchardthecat (@wretchardthecat) April 1, 2026
JOHN ONDRASIK BRINGS THE HAMMER OF TRUTH:
Your terrorist pals impose the death penalty for selling land to Jews. Why does that not bother you?
— John Ondrasik (@johnondrasik) March 31, 2026
DISPATCHES FROM EURABIA:
Sorry but what the heck is going on with this?
Why is the UK media suddenly fixated on dogs, seemingly to get people to question having them?
The UK is a solidly dog-loving place. British people have worked with them and kept them as companions for ever. This is so weird pic.twitter.com/bjONWXubRH
— Elisheva Abramson 🇮🇱🌴 (@ElishevaSays) March 31, 2026
It isn’t weird. It’s the inevitable result of increasing Islamification, which the UK press is happy to bend over backwards to accommodate. Lest they get blown up or beheaded, I suppose.
CORRECTING THE IGNORANT:
There’s literally a chair set up at SCOTUS for our presidents to sit in for oral argument. Your separation of powers nonsense is more imitation pearl-clutching hauteur. https://t.co/unVfZPgD9v
— AAGHarmeetDhillon (@AAGDhillon) March 31, 2026
To be fair, Ms. Watson is a reporter for CBS, so you can’t expect her to know much. Worse yet, she likes candy corn. No, really, check her profile page. So what can you expect?
LIMITED TIME DEAL: Carhartt Men’s Force Relaxed Fit Midweight Short-Sleeve Pocket T-Shirt. #CommisionEarned
CITY GRABS ANKLES, PREPARES TO VOTE: Shocking poll says half of Angelenos want a democratic socialist for mayor: ‘Holy Zohran Mamdani.’
The poll, conducted by Loyola Marymount University from February 11 to March 16, also puts incumbent Karen Bass second in the upcoming mayoral race at 17% of the vote, after progressive councilmember Nithya Raman, a member of the hard-left Democratic Socialists of America, listed at 32.5%.
About 47.7% of voters wanted a socialist in charge ahead of other listed types of candidates, such as a “moderate, business-oriented Democrat” and “conservative political outsider,” according to the poll.
The reaction from pundits and others: surprise and skepticism.
“Holy Zohran Mandami,” exclaimed Mike Madrid, an anti-Trump Republican strategist who co-founded the Lincoln Project.
Fernando Guerra, director of LMU’s Center for the Study of Los Angeles, told KPCC that the poll took an unusually different tactic in asking voters questions.
“Most polls, they just give the name,” Guerra said. “We kind of educated the voter before we asked, ‘Who would you support?’”
“Educated” is doing a whole lot of work in that sentence.
RIGHT?
For a bunch of people who flew Ukrainian flags for years and claimed to support immigrants the left sure erased the mural of a murdered Ukrainian immigrant pretty fucking fast.
— The Drunk Republican (@DrunkRepub) March 31, 2026
NONSENSE, LOTS OF UNFAMILIAR ACCOUNTS ON X TELL ME IRAN HAS ALREADY WON: Iranian Missile Strikes Fall to Lowest Level Seen During War As ‘Widespread Desertions’ Squeeze Regime’s Fighting Force, Hegseth Says.
“URGENTLY ROLL OUT RENEWABLES”:
🚨 BREAKING: The European Commission has urged people to work from home, drive and fly less, and for EU countries to urgently roll out renewables, as it warned of a prolonged energy crisis as a result of the conflict in the Gulf.
Full story: https://t.co/0IU3HD1E8u pic.twitter.com/nWOXcCVGGl
— POLITICOEurope (@POLITICOEurope) March 31, 2026
Since sending warships to the Strait of Hormuz is out of the question, I suppose pricing their manufacturers out of existence with ever-higher “renewable” energy costs is the next best thing.
FLASHBACK: Remembering the 2002 AOL/InstaPundit merger April Fool. The only April Fool I’ve done here, and probably the only one I ever will do, but it was fun — complete with a changed header to AOL/InstaPundit — and a surprising number of people bought it.
I would have enjoyed owning a Boeing, I think.
SOME OF THESE NOVEMBER PREVIEWS ARE SURPRISINGLY FUN: Jon Ossoff’s ID Hypocrisy Was Begging for Mockery, and Mike Collins Delivered.
#RESIST:
Today in Barcelona the entire stadium was chanting:
“Pedro Sánchez, hijo de puta”
Which means, Pedro Sánchez, motherfucker.
This is how the majority of Spaniards feel about him.
— Ada Lluch (@AdaLluch) March 31, 2026
Thats the point
— Ada Lluch (@AdaLluch) March 31, 2026
They need a revolución.
Magical doors and other mischief mix badly with tales about murder, as young scholars return to Graytowers.
Kenneth, as prefect, thought he had his hands filled with the beginning of the new session, but when one magical door takes him and another scholar far past the bounds of a prank, they barely escape with their lives, and their escape means only that they are in graver danger. They must hide, leaving the school, and casting all their spells in secret.
2025 GUARDIAN AWARD FROM THE LIFEBOAT FOUNDATION: 2025 Guardian Award Winner coined the term “AI safety”.
OUR STAUNCHEST ALLIES: But idiomatically it should say “beside Israel” not “with”! What is true is that the United States is going to war WITH Israel, not FOR it.
WHAT’S AT STAKE MIGHT WELL BE THE REPUBLIC: Have you heard of the Chinese surrogate baby farms in California? Because it’s only going to get more so. SCOTUS To Hear Birthright Citizenship Case: What’s At Stake .
