THE HOTTEST OF HOT TAKES FROM THE GRAUNIAD: Are OnlyFans models the best way to explain the climate crisis?

The world, as we know, is in trouble. The last three years have been the hottest ever recorded. Global emissions are still at record highs. The planet is now consistently flirting with the 1.5C limit it promised not to cross. Increasingly, it feels as if we need a genuine miracle to stop us from sleepwalking into catastrophe. Could that miracle be an environmental warning from a woman in her [under]pants?

No, because OnlyFans models have to workout extensively to maintain their physiques, which they’re quite proud of. And we know from the Grauniad exactly what that means:

TO BE FAIR, THAT’S HIS ENTIRE SCHTICK: Lawrence O’Donnell Gets the Vapors After Pete Hegseth Uses the Term ‘Man’ to Describe Rescued Pilot.

COLOR ME SKEPTICAL: CBD found to reverse brain damage in mouse model of Alzheimer’s disease.

JONATHAN TURLEY: USC Bans Men from Gym Areas to Avoid Triggering Women and Non-Binary Students. “According to the New York Post, the University of Southern California has adopted a policy banning men from certain workout areas. The plan, pushed by an LGBTQ+ group, is designed to prevent the presence of males from triggering women or non-binary students. It may, however, trigger a major legal challenge.”

NOT ANTI-WAR, MERELY ON THE OTHER SIDE:

And so do the mullahs.

— @instapundit (@instapundit) April 9, 2026

ARE THESE REALLY HUMANITY’S DARKEST TIMES? I FIND THEM PRETTY AMUSING. Artemis II Is Rekindling Hope During Humanity’s Darkest Times.

DAVID THOMPSON: Unto Others.

Lifted from the comments, which you’re reading of course, this strikes me as broadly accurate:

It comes up over and over again that liberals think conservative types are creating special exceptions for their enemies whenever the conservative has blindly applied their conception of justice.

That’s how you get liberals saying stuff like, “oh I’m sure you’d be jumping straight to execution if this were a white guy“ and then every single time a white guy commits a heinous crime the entire right in unison chants, “execute him.”

Or, to take another example, consider the way in which liberals always think that conservatives want and expect immigrants to behave in a certain way just simply because they hate immigrants, when the conservative is merely applying the same standard to which they would hold themselves in a foreign country.

In these cases and many others, liberals are confused by a straightforward and universal conception of justice.

QED: WaPo Columnist Makes the Case Against Muslim Assimilation.

Hello Mr. Hasim,

You've already reached levels of institutional validation that remain inaccessible to nearly all Americans: a professorship at Georgetown, a position on the Washington Post's editorial board.

At that point, saying you still need to prove yourself is like Taylor…

— DataRepublican (small r) (@DataRepublican) April 8, 2026

Tweet continues:

At that point, saying you still need to prove yourself is like Taylor Swift insisting no one listens to her music.

If assimilation feels out of reach, it isn’t because the system has excluded you. By any reasonable measure, it has already brought you into its highest ranks. What remains is a decision about whether you’re willing to fully embrace where you already stand.

And all signs point to “no.”

This is a you problem.

Exit question: “I’m not sure if Hamid was born in the United States or if he’s an immigrant, but a lot of people asked the same question I ask: There are 57 Muslim countries in the world … why do you choose to move to a Christian country and then complain about being expected to assimilate?”

GOOD LORD: Ex-Delta Force Staffer Faces Charge of Leaking Classified Info to Reporter.

READER FAVORITE: True Classic Mens T-Shirts. #CommissionEarned

THIS ISN’T NEWS: Bacterial Vaginosis Can Spread Person to Person Like an STI. Here’s Everything You Need to Know.

AS IF DATING ISN’T HARD ENOUGH:

I was talking to a group of 20-somethings discussing the "ick factor" in dating. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it means a visceral, sudden surge of cringe triggered by a specific behavior. "Women will dismiss a man if he ties his shoe wrong," said one woman. How in…

— Helen Smith (@HelenSmithPhD) April 9, 2026

THERE ARE CERTAINLY TOO FEW TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE: There Are No ‘Moderate’ Democrats When it Comes to Gun Rights.

BUT WILL THEY VOTE RED: That’s the question whenever the topic of folks leaving blue states and moving red states enters the conversation. Usually, the source data for such talks is state-to-state moves, but the sharp minds at Issues & Insights (I&I) dug deeper in the Census Bureau data and found some things that may put the whole issue into clearer focus.

“What we found was that millions aren’t just moving out of blue states, but are moving out of blue counties within states. Trump won 2,589 counties in each of the past three elections.

“From 2020 to 2025, those counties gained 5.4 million people due to net migration — which measures how many people move into and out of an area. The 433 counties where Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Kamala Harris carried the day saw a net loss of 5.43 million people. And the 121 counties in which Trump won at least one of the past three elections saw a net gain of 29,000 people over those years.”

Be sure and check out the top 10 population gaining counties and the top 10 loser counties.

OOF:

Who better to advise on aiding and abetting mullahs? https://t.co/R9dUgZbzrw

— Northern Barbarian (@xnoesbueno) April 9, 2026

IRISH ARMY CALLED IN TO REMOVE FUEL DEPOT BLOCKADES:

The Irish government has asked the army to help remove vehicles blocking fuel depots as protests entered a third day.

Haulage and agricultural businesses are angry about the response to rising fuel costs, and have also set up slow-moving convoys on motorways and disrupted major roads in Dublin.

“The blocking of critical national infrastructure will not be permitted to continue and the assistance of the Defence Forces has been requested,” justice minister Jim O’Callaghan said in a statement.

He said large vehicles would be removed – and warned owners to “remove them immediately” on Thursday morning, or face the possibility of them being damaged.

Owners “should not complain later about any damage caused to those vehicles during removal”, he said.

“Denying people access to fuel and clean water is an unacceptable interference in the most basic of human rights,” he added.

Related:

Irish military involvement is now official. Several credible commentators are saying a number of Irish army officers are refusing to use force against their own citizens. Interesting times in Ireland….pic.twitter.com/7Sg9dbYYvA

— Paul Weston (@PWestoff) April 9, 2026

I USED TO SHOP AT KEMP MILL RECORDS ON DUPONT CIRCLE IN 1988: Mark Judge on music history.

THIS DATE IN HISTORY: The Guns Fell Silent at Appomattox, and the Reconciliation Began.

JOHN SAILOR:  “How the Mellon Foundation Funds Trans Ideology.”  Sorry about that Mr. Mellon.  Your children put your money into a foundation and then died, leaving the foundation in the hands of a series of administrators who become weirder and weirder as time went by.

Dear 21st century titans:  Don’t let this happen to you.  If you establish a charitable foundation, make sure it spends itself down in one generation.  Make sure your money is spent by somebody who knew you, respected you, and in whom you have great trust.

OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY: Education is fond of fads: If it feels good, fund it. “Among other things, Pondiscio writes, change is how administrators show they’re leaders. The new superintendent” announces a bold vision, rebrands existing efforts, and introduces a new set of priorities. Three years later, often before results are fully visible, that leader departs,” and a new one comes in with bold new ideas. If the experiment is working, it’s hard to sustain the success.”

Too many administrators, not enough parental control and oversight.

UNTIL ONE ANNOUNCES A GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE: This Is the Best Thing You’ve Heard an EPA Administrator Say.

STAY SAFE: aosu Security Cameras Outdoor Wireless, 2 Cam-Kit, No Subscription Required. #CommissionEarned

WELL, THEY WOULDN’T WANT INELIGIBLE CANS GETTING COUNTED:

You need an id to return cans in CT. pic.twitter.com/JzUu3TjIpb

— Scott (@Thebigblackram) April 9, 2026

WHEN YOU’RE TOO FREE-SPENDING FOR ALBANY: Mamdani’s plan for free buses in NYC hits pothole, told by Albany ‘just not financially feasible.’

New York state Sen. Jeremy Cooney, who is chairman of the upper chamber’s Transportation Committee, said lawmakers want to make transit more affordable, but “making every bus in New York City free is just not financially feasible.”

“I would tell this to the mayor: I know you care about the most vulnerable,” Cooney said. “This is a way — working within the existing system — that we could increase support for the most vulnerable and start there, and then look to do an expansion of that.”

Cooney also said that while Mamdani has asked him for some things, he has not had a “direct ask” from the mayor about free buses.

Even Mamdani seems to know it’s a non-starter.

CRUEL BUT FAIR:

The Royal Navy is currently no match for the Russian Navy, which was defeated in the Black Sea by the Ukrainians, who do not have a navy. https://t.co/q4jXD29BMP

— Foster (@foster_type) April 9, 2026

STANDING UP TO BIGOTRY AND DISCRIMINATION: Stanford hit with federal complaint over race-exclusionary teacher training program.