WELL, GOOD NEWS FOR ME: Cancer risk is significantly higher for adults who have never married, finds large study.

YOUR DAILY HELPING OF SCHADENFREUDE:

In 2024 George Conway said that Trump was most likely going to prison for the rest of his life. They laughed and declared that they were "taking back the red hats."

Now Conway is crying that he blew a million dollars on Biden. So perfect.pic.twitter.com/r4vCNUhOM6 https://t.co/bRUwLLUkYQ

— MAZE (@mazemoore) April 9, 2026

DISPATCHES FROM FORTRESS AMERICA?

𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐏’𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐆𝐘 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 — 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐄

GB News’ Alex Armstrong laid… pic.twitter.com/geQR6obYBq

— M.A. Rothman (@MichaelARothman) April 8, 2026

THE 21st CENTURY ISN’T TURNING OUT AS I HAD HOPED:

Sam Altman has admitted he is on a waitlist for a procedure that would digitize his brain.

The procedure would kill him. He considers this an acceptable trade for digital immortality.

This is the person making decisions about the future of artificial intelligence for hundreds…

— Ryan Fournier (@RyanAFournier) April 9, 2026

Somebody’s seen Star Trek: The Motion Picture a few too many times:

UPDATE: Sam Altman’s Really Weird Week Just Got Even Worse. “OpenAI is under investigation after its chatbot, ChatGPT, allegedly helped plan a mass shooting last year at Florida State University.”

BUT IT’S THE BEST REASON TO JOIN THE NAVY! Pentagon removes Navy photo after people noticed sailor’s arm patch said “SAVE THE BIG BOOTY VENEZUELANS.”

The photo shows a sailor onboard the USS Gerald R. Ford aircraft carrier working on an EA-18G “Growler” Electronic Warfare Aircraft. The pic was uploaded to the Pentagon’s Defense Visual Information Distribution Service (DVIDS).

But then the comments started pouring in.

Don’t show them pictures of WWII planes. Might cause them to keel over.

— Dr. Cosmo (@PhiGamJam) April 8, 2026

Indeed. This seems like pretty small beer when compared to WWII bomber nose art:

I HOPE THIS IS A TREND: Volkswagen’s Future Interiors Will Feature Real Buttons and More Premium Materials.

GODSPEED: All eyes on Orion’s heat shield: Artemis 2 astronauts will hit Earth’s atmosphere at nearly 24,000 mph on April 10.

AND LIKELY NEVER WILL: Nothing Has Changed for Michael Moore. “I know… your immediate reaction is a quiet laugh. But he’s not kidding. He’s deadly serious, apparently hoping we’ve forgotten his track record of faux documentaries.”

MAKE HOUSEWORK EASIER: Roborock Qrevo S5V Robot Vacuum and Mop. #CommissionEarned

STILL “MAD AS HELL:” Paddy Chayefsky’s Network Comes to the Criterion Collection in 4K Blu-Ray.

My latest, over at EdDriscoll.com.

WELL, BYE: Darwin Crowns Another One: Chicago Home Invader’s Career Ends Suddenly.

OOPS: Russia Cracks Down On VPNs, Brings Down Banks. “Feeling that too much military information has been leaking out via such channels as Telegram (it only took them four years of war to figure this out), Russia officials decided to crack down on VPN use, leading to one of the greatest examples of unintended consequences in recent memory.”

REMEMBER “NO LONGER OPERATIVE”? Chuck Schumer Doesn’t Want You to See This Video About Iran.

BAD REPUATION: Elon Musk Didn’t Just Leave Delaware — He Started a Stampede.

MEANWHILE, ON M-SNOW:

“Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.” https://t.co/LjOdih36NW

— @instapundit (@instapundit) April 9, 2026

LIMITED TIME DEAL: OLANLY Dog Door Mat for Muddy Paws. #CommissionEarned

COLONIALISM, STRAIGHT UP: ‘Get over it’: Georgetown professor dismisses concerns about Muslim ‘rape gangs.’

The Alwaleed bin Talal Chair of Islamic Civilization at Georgetown University recently told social media users to “get over it” in response to concerns about a link between “rape gangs” and Islam.

Professor Jonathan Brown dismissed concerns about the crisis in the United Kingdom in two now-deleted X posts, the Daily Caller reported.

Rupert Lowe, an Independent Member of Parliament, wrote in a post on X, “There is a link between the rape gangs and one particular religion – we have seen it again and again and again at our inquiry.”

“That religion is Islam. As a country, we must have the courage to face up to that fact,” he wrote.

Brown replied, “get over it.”

He then wrote the same phrase in response to another user who called his remark “absurdly evil.”

The Alwaleed bin Talal chair was funded by a donation from Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin Talal as part of a $40 million gift split between Georgetown and Harvard in 2005.

GLOBAL PUPPET MASTER EXPOSED:

Been looking for the Deep State in all the wrong places. It's THE FUCKING BUNNY. THE FUCKING BUNNY IS RUNNING EVERYTHING, THE PRESIDENT IS JUST A PUPPET! pic.twitter.com/OseaguR5Iq

— Marc J. Randazza 🇺🇸 🇮🇹 🇧🇷 (@marcorandazza) April 7, 2026

SOLDIERS ALWAYS KNOW WHO HAS THEIR BACKS AND WHO DOESN’T:

Disney needs to cast this guy to play Disgust in a live action Inside Out movie. pic.twitter.com/8cLXXmfuSW

— Rebecca Tucker (@RebeccaTucker85) April 9, 2026

CAN WE BRING THAT BACK? Why did childhood summers feel endless? It’s not just nostalgia—your brain was actually experiencing time differently.

THE HOTTEST OF HOT TAKES FROM THE GRAUNIAD: Are OnlyFans models the best way to explain the climate crisis?

The world, as we know, is in trouble. The last three years have been the hottest ever recorded. Global emissions are still at record highs. The planet is now consistently flirting with the 1.5C limit it promised not to cross. Increasingly, it feels as if we need a genuine miracle to stop us from sleepwalking into catastrophe. Could that miracle be an environmental warning from a woman in her [under]pants?

No, because OnlyFans models have to workout extensively to maintain their physiques, which they’re quite proud of. And we know from the Grauniad exactly what that means:

TO BE FAIR, THAT’S HIS ENTIRE SCHTICK: Lawrence O’Donnell Gets the Vapors After Pete Hegseth Uses the Term ‘Man’ to Describe Rescued Pilot.

COLOR ME SKEPTICAL: CBD found to reverse brain damage in mouse model of Alzheimer’s disease.

JONATHAN TURLEY: USC Bans Men from Gym Areas to Avoid Triggering Women and Non-Binary Students. “According to the New York Post, the University of Southern California has adopted a policy banning men from certain workout areas. The plan, pushed by an LGBTQ+ group, is designed to prevent the presence of males from triggering women or non-binary students. It may, however, trigger a major legal challenge.”

NOT ANTI-WAR, MERELY ON THE OTHER SIDE:

And so do the mullahs.

— @instapundit (@instapundit) April 9, 2026