THIS REALLY GOES FOR SELF-DEFENSE EVERYWHERE, OR AT LEAST OUGHT TO: God Protects Those Who Prepare: Church Security Shouldn’t Be Controversial.

COLONIALISM, STRAIGHT UP:

A New York town is facing a federal lawsuit after officials refused to allow a Christian Nativity display in a public square while permitting Islamic religious displays.

The American Center for Law and Justice (ACLJ) has sued the town of Brighton, New York, accusing officials of… pic.twitter.com/QcNuOBO1oq

— Visegrád 24 (@visegrad24) August 13, 2026

HOW COULD IT BE WORSE? SURPRISE! The Russiagate Hoax Looks Even Worse After These FBI Revelations.

KRUISER: The Left Has Overplayed the Race Card So Much That It’s Now Just White Noise.

KEEP YOUR HOUSE CLEAN: iRobot Roomba Plus 505 Combo Robot Vacuum & Mop. #CommissionEarned

“SPEND LESS THAN YOU MAKE” STILL SEEMS TO WORK EVERYWHERE IT’S TRIED:

I once again see socialism being caused by the perception of downward mobility among privileged children of relatively wealthy people. https://t.co/oI3RSCiMMQ

— James Lindsay, anti-Communist (@ConceptualJames) August 13, 2026

Admittedly, things would be easier for the rest of us if Washington would try it again.

MAGA: BofA to plow $250 billion into critical infrastructure projects. “The investment is intended for projects including data centers and compute power, renewable-power generation, energy storage, natural gas, electricity transmission and critical minerals and mining. The goal is to support energy security, job growth and economic competitiveness, the bank said in a statement Wednesday.”

Unlike under the previous administration, there seems to be very little money directed at making our highways less racist.

SELECTIONS FROM H.P. LOVECRAFT’S BRIEF TENURE AS A WHITMAN’S SAMPLER COPYWRITER:

Chocolate Cherry Cordial

You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon’s true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate.

Caramel Chew

There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal.

Heh, indeed. Read the whole thing™— if you dare!

FAUCI’S CULTURE OF CORRUPTION: Fauci’s ‘pay-to-play scheme’ both ‘unlawful’ and ‘unethical,’ Rutgers expert says.

THE NEEDS OF THE PARTY ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE, COMRADE:

Oh. I didn’t realize progressives believe men cannot be classified as women without 2-3 years of wrong-sex hormones. Weird how not even that requirement appears in a single progressive law or policy letting men into women’s prisons, abuse shelters, bathrooms, locker rooms. https://t.co/mEOaZgeHPM

— Candice Jackson (@CEJacksonLaw) August 12, 2026

THE MANSPLAINERS talk with Terrence Popp who has saved 604 men from suicide:

WHY NOT BOTH? Is Abdul El-Sayed Running for Senate or Trying Out for The Village People?

ANTI-GENDER? Hobart and William Smith course scrutinizes ‘anti-gender’ backlash.

I REMAIN STEADFAST AGAINST RODENT URINE: ‘Rodent Urine’ & Other Unsanitary Conditions Spark MAJOR Recall Across Multiple Food Brands.

A major recall spanning hundreds of products across multiple industries is raising eyebrows (and clearing pantries) across several states. Gold Star Distribution, Inc. has recalled numerous grocery items, canned goods, medications, and other products due to unsanitary conditions at its Minneapolis storage facility. According to the recall, the FDA found “the presence of rodent excreta, rodent urine, and bird droppings in areas where medical devices, drugs, human food, pet food, and cosmetic products were held.”

As you can probably imagine, that’s a serious health risk.

The facility distributed recalled products to 50 stores across three states: Indiana, Minnesota, and North Dakota. “Exposure to contaminated products can pose serious health risks to consumers, including the potential for bacterial contamination, which may result in illness or infection, including Salmonella,” the recall states. And contamination from rodent droppings isn’t just gross—it can make people sick even from contact with packaging.

Check the link for details if you might be at risk.

MY LATEST SUBSTACK ESSAY: In Which I am Replaced by a Robot. Maybe.

HATE SPEECH LAWS DIDN’T STOP THE NAZIS. Weimar Germany tried censoring them before they took power. The laws failed, and the lesson is a grim one: censorship is no substitute for defeating bad ideas.

KRUISER’S MORNING BRIEFING: I’m Going to Miss Karoline Leavitt Kneecapping the Press Hacks. “Many conservatives of a certain age have a soft spot for the late Tony Snow, and that’s understandable. I think that what sets Leavitt apart is that the Dems’ flying monkeys in the mainstream media she’s had to face have been some of the worst of all time. It’s not just that, though. What has been most enjoyable about Leavitt’s tenure is the obvious delight she takes in correcting the biased, agenda-driven propagandists in the press room.”

NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG: Cam Newton blows the lid off the NFL, claims players, coaches, and execs faked their COVID-19 vaccination. “Aaron Rogers wasn’t the only one,” Newton said about players being against the vaccine. “He wasn’t the only one in the Packers organization. He wasn’t the only one in the Packers quarterback room.”

MORNING IN AMERICA:

This is the country they took from you.

This was California in the 80s:https://t.co/jnV5Svjdjw

— Mike Kobe (Wild Horse) 🪶🇺🇸 (@Oklahoma_Brave) August 11, 2026

Fast-forward to 2026, and of course, it’s gooder and harder, California: Post walks LA’s once-iconic Van Nuys Blvd. for a week – here’s disturbing scene we found.

This is honestly kind of just sad

A travel influencer from the UK came to Los Angeles for the first time excited because she says everyone in the UK wants to visit Hollywood

She was completely let down, couldn’t believe what she saw and now warns everyone thinking of going to… pic.twitter.com/VQBLa3v6ca

— Wall Street Apes (@WallStreetApes) August 9, 2026

CDR SALAMANDER: The Small Warship We Should Have Had: They’re right here. “Most are familiar with the rolling train wreck of missed opportunities, bad theory, wasted hundreds of billions of dollars, and destroyed careers that the Littoral Combat Ship (LCS) left in its wake…and still does. Many of us remember the mission set it was supposed to meet compared to the shambolic grabassery it transmogrified into. . . . Yes, there are those who argue that the U.S. Navy has no use for such small ships. Frankly, I’m tired of arguing with them. They are wrong.”

Flashback: Is it time for a big fleet of small ships?

UPDATE: First link was wrong before. Fixed now, sorry! One day I will master cut and paste, but today is not that day.

SETH BARRETT TILLMAN: You’re not laughing now.

ANALYSIS: TRUE. Victor Davis Hanson: The WNBA’s Treatment of Sophie Cunningham Has Been Anything but ‘Privilege.’

KNOXVILLE’S OWN: Dale Dickey Is Finally an Emmy Nominee. Now She Needs a Dress.

OH SURE, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HOW EXPENSIVE IT IS TO GET A DOORDASH BURRITO THESE DAYS?

There are two really amazing facts about today's CPI report.

1. Blue (Democrat) metros have MUCH higher inflation than Red (Republican) metros.

2. Prescription drug prices have fallen for 7 months — longest such decline since 1947.

Did you hear that? Media ignored it. (1/3)

— Joel Pollak (@joelpollak) August 13, 2026

Related: The Vibecession Comes for MAGA.

IT’S MY THURSDAY ESSAY FOR VIP SUBSCRIBERS: Fat Amy Gets No Respect.

It’s the strike fighter that launched a thousand flamewars, yet somehow keeps succeeding at one mission after another. And might be about to take on yet one more.

“But it costs too much,” they said. “It flies too slow,” which is true. “The helmet is too heavy,” which is weird and also true. “It can’t dogfight.” And my favorite, because it’s the truest: “They never should have tried to make one jet fit three branches.”

Perhaps most embarrassing of all, the pilots who fly the F-35 — officially designated the Lightning II, which I always thought was a lazy name — call it “Fat Amy.”

Yet just in the last week, Lockheed Martin announced another new role for the much-derided fighter: ballistic missile defense. I mean, can something called Fat Amy do that?

And a whole lot more at the link.