IF YOU MISSED IT, THIS COMES WITH FREE CHAPTERS:  A Small Pause For Self Promo.

HE DIDN’T DO IT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE: Dick Morris Confirms a Huge Rumor About Bill and Hillary Clinton. “Dick Morris has finally confirmed what many people have long suspected: Bill Clinton, while sitting in the Oval Office, seriously entertained the idea of divorcing Hillary — and he had his longtime political advisor run the polls to find out if he could survive it politically.”

Plus: “The whole arc of Hillary’s political career — the Senate seat in New York, the 2008 primary run, the secretary of State role, the 2016 presidential campaign — was all courtesy of a politically convenient marriage, which was merely a vehicle for her own quest for power.”

She was a once-attractive Yale Law woman — no small achievement that — who married well. Otherwise she would have been an ERISA partner in some big firm, disliked by the associates.

SO MUCH OF OUR ECONOMY IS BASED ON CHEATING TAXPAYERS:

*No more EBT for Soda or Candy*

*7-Eleven begins aggressively closing stores*

*Realize 7-Eleven was subsidized* https://t.co/2JGxbdXCVo pic.twitter.com/WMK3iZTcud

— Heart & Soil (@heartandsoilHQ) April 17, 2026

OPEN THREAD: Ring in the weekend.

THE NEW SPACE RACE: Landing astronauts on the moon ‘is absolutely doable, and it’s doable soon,’ NASA’s Artemis 2 commander says.

Well, we’ve done it before.

A FRIEND WRITES:

I am shocked at how the service academy pages and other military-directed sites are absolutely overrun by angry progressives.

I mean, is this just what they do now? “Like” pages just to vent incessantly?

I’m usually just scrolling cooking reels so apparently I’ve missed the real action online.
Mind numbing.

They’re super upset that we’re winning a war and not taking heavy casualties.

MY LATEST SUBSTACK ESSAY: The Future Belongs to Those Who Show Up.

BREAD HAS HAD THAT REPUTATION FOR A LONG TIME: Scientists Reveal Why Bread Can Cause Weight Gain Without Overeating. “This isn’t the first time nutritionists have talked about bread and carbohydrates and their contribution to weight gain, but there hasn’t been much detailed research into the relationship – especially wheat flour – or into what might be happening at a metabolic level. The team discovered that eating more wheat bread was associated with reduced energy expenditure, pushing the metabolism towards a state where fat storage is prioritized, even when the calories in a diet stay at a similar level.”

My half-assed hypothesis: Ancient humans mostly ate grains and tubers — high in carbs — when other food was scarcer. So your body interprets high carb intake as a sign of impending famine and starts packing on the reserves.

TRUMP SEEMS TO BE HAVING A BLAST WITH THIS STUFF, TOO:

I'm almost 100% this is what's happening.

One regime figure had a meltdown and then deleted his X account. Others are calling for Araghchi to be impeached.

Ghalibaf is calling all of Trump's posts lies.

Regimi twitter in absolute shambles. https://t.co/CHNOo6rfei

— 𝐍𝐢𝐨𝐡 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐠 🇮🇷 ✡︎ (@NiohBerg) April 17, 2026

MICROBIOME NEWS: Living With Roommates Might Be Changing Your Gut Microbiome Without You Knowing.

LOL, DAVID FRENCH:

Allie, ever so gently but thoroughly, pressed French (heh)

She showed how French dishonestly claimed she was champion of political cruelty. How French could not rationally justify a vote for Kamala Harris.

And finally how French ignores heresy from Talarico because he’s… https://t.co/wqApjakIPY

— Political Sock (@politicalsock) April 17, 2026

GOOD LORD:

If true, this is the most significant corruption scandal in Australian history

Afghan villagers are PAID to testify against war hero Ben Roberts-Smith

The villagers are then coached

The government in return offers the villagers ASYLUM – which presumably is like winning the… https://t.co/6Jj5cKNUlK

— Lisa (@Lisa9Sophia) April 17, 2026

GO FIGURE.

This is just like the Holocaust. I remember the vicious scene in Schindlers List when Ralph Fiennes gave Jews 3000$ and let them fly home.

— Coach Harry Ellis (@Jetspete) April 16, 2026

G Gradual Men’s Sweatpants with Zipper Pockets. #CommissionEarned

WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY…

Imagine watching the Deep State torpedo Eric Swalwell in less than 7 days, and still thinking there's a magical career-ending bombshell they've had on Trump but not released over the past 11 years.

— Damani Felder (@TheDamaniFelder) April 17, 2026

WELL, GOOD: These lab-grown insulin cells reverse diabetes in mice and clear a major hurdle for type 1 treatment.

INTERVIEW WITH VICTOR GLOVER, AMERICAN BAD-ASS: Artemis II pilot talks about what it was really like to fly and land in Orion.

The Lunar Science team won’t like it when I say this, but it’s the truth. If we had launched, done the rendezvous and proximity operations demo, and then had to emergency de-orbit, I would have considered us a massive success. Because that may be the only chance we get to test this really important capability.

We don’t plan to manually dock. It’s a crew interrupt. Boeing CFT (the Starliner Crew Flight Test in 2024, during which Butch Wilmore had to take control of the spacecraft during an emergency) has shown us when these things might need to be done. And Butch held position manually. He had to use his eyeballs to correlate where he was and just hold position. That was a critical moment for them to breathe, and for the team to collect themselves, because if they had tried to retreat or tried to continue docking with ISS, both of those would have been catastrophic.

So this capability, to me, was a huge milestone—now Artemis II gets to pass the baton to III and IV, whatever they are, docking, proximity ops again, landing. Those crews will have the peace of mind that the Artemis II test pilot said it was good to go. An engineer said it was good to go, and an F-18 pilot said it was good to go. That, to me, is unreal. We got so much juice for the squeeze on that.

Read the whole thing.

AS ALWAYS, LIFE IMITATES “THE FAR SIDE:”

shoutout to Gary Larson for literally calling this in The Far Side in 1987 (!!!) https://t.co/1ljamEYzkB pic.twitter.com/Z4da85alf1

— Trung Phan (@TrungTPhan) April 17, 2026

ALL THE VERY BEST PEOPLE ASSURED ME THIS NEVER HAPPENED:

🚨 JUST IN: HHS Sec. RFK Jr. CONFIRMS nearly ALL of the 1.4 million people purged from taxpayer healthcare are ILLEGAL ALIENS

Holy crap. We gave welfare to THAT MANY ILLEGALS?!

"They're almost ALL illegal immigrants!"

"We found ~1.5 MILLION illegal immigrants illegally… pic.twitter.com/5OlHdChfY1

— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) April 17, 2026

IT’S TIME FOR VICTORIA TAFT’S West Coast, Messed Coast™” Newsom’s Free Chesticles for Illegals Helped Quadruple CA’s Medi-Cal Costs “This week your humble correspondent offers some advice for when Democrats pretend to give a rip about ‘affordability.’ Remind them that before the ‘excursion’ in Iran temporarily raised gas prices, President Donald Trump’s prices never reached the heights of the prices planned and in place for the poor saps living on the West Coast, Messed Coast™. Add in the cost of free body parts for illegal alien trans people, and whoa.”

MAKE AMERICA MALE AGAIN:

If they can eliminate low testosterone,

A Democrat would never win another presidential election.

This is a scientific study, and I’m not being facetious. https://t.co/U26PmfuYYf pic.twitter.com/nzKzQKmo03

— Dr Manhattva (@Manhattva) April 16, 2026

LIST: The Bestselling Luxury Vehicles of 2026.

CALIFORNIA FORBIDS OFFSHORE PRODUCTION, FORCES REFINERIES TO CLOSE, AND YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT: California ‘running out of fuel’ as imports dry up, Trump needs to act to prevent crisis: experts.

These problems will extend far beyond the state. Nevada gets about 80% of its gasoline from California, and Arizona gets nearly half of its supply from the state. California is also home to a dozen ports through which a large portion of U.S. exports and imports are transferred, and the state is home to key West Coast military bases. It’s also nearly 15% of the U.S. economy. Without fuel, operations at California’s businesses and industries, and these important ports and bases, will be severely impacted.

While the war in Iran has raised the risk level from stressed to dangerous, Mische explained that the end of the conflict won’t immediately avert the crisis. If the exports of petroleum began to flow normally today, it would be a couple of months before the shortfalls would be addressed. Tankers would need to ship the products across the oceans. Refineries would have to be restarted, and back orders would need to be filled.

“You’re two months out. It’s crazy,” Mische said.

Self-government has proven a one-party-state disaster for California and its neighbors.

Alternate headline: What would we do without experts?

WELL, WE’LL SEE:

NEWS President Trump tells me:

-No ground troops will be required to remove enriched uranium from Iran

-Iran has agreed to stop backing all proxy groups like Hezbollah and Hamas

-I asked if Iran has agreed to stop enriching uranium *forever.” He said, “They’ve agreed to…

— Weijia Jiang (@weijia) April 17, 2026

FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY [VIP]: The $700,000 Foot Bath Fraud. “It’s time for your much-needed break from the serious news, and this week, we’ll learn the freakiest way to rip off health insurers, yet another reason not to use Mugshots.com as a dating app, and how they’re exiting the courtroom in Colorado these days.”