A FRIEND WHO GOT OLIVIA NUZZI’S NEW BOOK, AMERICAN CANTO, WRITES: “I thought the audiobook was the move, but hearing this in her own voice is so much worse than reading it. I couldn’t even make it through the intro.”

LIE NUMBER 43,679:

A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION MASQUERADING AS A POLITICAL PARTY:

(Classical reference in headline.)

JULIE BURCHILL: Eurovision’s bum-note boycott.

The latest “casualty” of the culture wars — though to call it that is to lend it more dignity than it deserves; perhaps we should describe it as the brain-dead brouhaha of the Trash Telly Top Trumps — is the Eurovision Song Contest, from which a growing number of countries are withdrawing their “artistes”. (Though anyone who witnessed last year’s most vocal opponent of Israel, one “Bambi Thug”, might conclude that using the word “artiste” to describe her is about as accurate as calling the contents of a nappy an “artefact”.) The delegations of the unfriendly nations demanded a secret vote on Israel’s participation — for the inevitable reasons — which has sensibly been rejected, indicating that the Eurovision bigwigs are pleasingly determined to dig their heels in, perhaps in the light of how popular the Israeli entry proved with the public last year; ranked joint 14th by the national juries, but dominating the leaderboard due to the results of the online and phone votes. Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain and the UK were among the countries whose viewers awarded Israel the maximum 12 points. Once again, the voice of the people (don’t forget the mocked contest attracts a larger European television audience than anything apart from big sports matches) and the voice of the captured Establishment couldn’t have been more at odds.

Not content with creating the circumstances which led to a young woman, Eden Golan, being booed while singing a song about the Hamas pogrom, many of last year’s persecutors are back for a second go. Yuval Raphael, who will represent Israel next year, was actually a survivor of the 2023 attack, so one can imagine the usual self-righteous sadists having an especially fun time barracking her. So far, Spain, Ireland, Slovenia and the Netherlands have boycotted the contest; only Spain is one of the Eurovision’s Big Five countries along with France, Germany, Italy and the UK, so I can’t imagine the European Broadcasting Union’s (EBU) General Assembly getting their scanties in a bunch quite yet.

In the case of Spain and Ireland, though, it’s tempting to shrug, albeit sorrowfully. What did we expect? Spain, the home of the Inquisition, repeated Jewish expulsion and forced conversion, appears to be reverting to type. The same could be said of Ireland, which has taken to anti-Israel activity with a relish that won’t surprise anyone who remembers that Eamon de Valera’s Eire was “neutral” in the war between the Allies and the Axis.

The Netherlands appear to be reverting to type as well:

INDEED:

TRUNALIMUNUMAPRZURE! Joe Biden Yells At Clouds, Shouts At LGBT Audience To Fight For Constitution … Or Something.

Former President Joe Biden yelled at the audience during a Friday speech at the International LGBTQ+ Leaders Conference, telling attendees to “fight” for the Constitution.

Biden, who was stricken with prostate cancer, was at the conference to receive an award from the LGBTQ+ Victory Institute. The former president recounted during his speech how his father told him as a child to “get up” when people mocked him.

“When I was growing up, whenever something bad happened, I used to be a stutter, and people made a lot of fun of you, and a lot of other things,” Biden said. “My dad would look at me and say, ‘Joey, just get up. Get up, Joey! Get up!’ Well, folks, that’s my message to all of us today. To all who love our country. To all!”

“All of us who are dismayed by the present state of the union. This is no time to give up. It’s time to get up! Get up and fight back! Get up!” he screamed. “Continue to fight! And what’s the fight all about!? … It’s about protecting the Constitution! It’s about protecting the Constitution!”

Of the United States of the Amerigotta!!!!!!

THE VERY DELAYED CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE SHORT STORY:  A Light in Time.

HOW IT STARTED: Christopher Nolan Slams His Tenet Studio Warner Bros Over HBO Max Windows Plan.

Christopher Nolan, who was doing consumer press interviews today for the DVD release of Tenet, was asked about that movie’s film studio, Warner Bros., and their recent radical windows plan to drop their entire 2021 slate both in theaters and on their struggling frosh streaming service HBO Max at the same time. It was a move last Thursday that blindsided both film co-financiers and talent, leaving them irate.

“Some of our industry’s biggest filmmakers and most important movie stars went to bed the night before thinking they were working for the greatest movie studio and woke up to find out they were working for the worst streaming service,” said Nolan in a statement, kicking HBO Max in the teeth.

Warners and exhibition rushed to reopen movie theaters during the pandemic for Tenet. Some industry sources believed the move was premature during the pandemic, especially with box office capital New York and LA closed, as well as other markets, with the $200M spy noir thriller seeing lackluster global results of $360M, 32% less than Nolan’s previous WWII feature Dunkirk. The theory has been floated by many distribution heads of late that if we didn’t rush to reopen theaters for Tenet than perhaps this HBO Max deal wouldn’t have been floated.

Nolan said that the Burbank, CA lot was “dismantling” an ideal distribution system between theaters and homes “as we speak. They don’t even understand what they’re losing. Their decision makes no economic sense and even the most casual Wall Street investor can see the difference between disruption and dysfunction.”

—Deadline Hollywood, December 7th, 2020.

How It’s Going: Netflix Says Warner Bros. Movies Will Remain in Theaters but ‘Windows Will Evolve to Be Much More Consumer Friendly.’

Ted Sarandos insisted that Netflix has no “opposition to movies in theaters,” as the streamer said it “expects” to release Warner Bros. films theatrically if it completes its $82.7 billion deal for the studio and HBO Max.

On a conference call with investors and press on Friday, the Netflix co-CEO noted that the company has released 30 films in cinemas in 2025, though most of those films have had a far shorter theatrical run than those from a typical studio.

“It’s not like we have this opposition to movies into theaters,” Sarandos said. “My pushback has been mostly in the fact of the long exclusive windows, which we don’t really think are that consumer friendly, but when we talk about keeping HBO operating, largely as it is, that also includes their output movie deal with Warner Bros., which includes a life cycle that starts in the movie theater, which we’re going to continue to support.”

However, Sarandos suggested that life cycle may soon change, or, in his words, “evolve.”

“I wouldn’t look at this as a change in approach for Netflix movies or for Warner movies,” he said. “I think, over time, the windows will evolve to be much more consumer friendly, to be able to meet the audience where they are quicker…I’d say right now, you should count on everything that is planned on going to the theater through Warner Bros. will continue to go to the theaters through Warner Bros., and Netflix movies will take the same strides they have, which is, some of them do have a short run in the theater beforehand. But our primary goal is to bring first-run movies to our members, because that’s what they’re looking for.”

—Variety, yesterday. In another Variety article from yesterday, theater owners did not sound very sanguine about an ever-tightening window of big screen distribution: Theater Owners Worry Netflix Buying Warner Bros. Will Cripple Their Business: ‘Hopefully the Deal Gets Killed.’

“The most ominous words I read were that the windows will ‘evolve,’” says one A-list director. “I know exactly what it means. Netflix wants to put movies in theaters for one week to two weeks then it’s right to streaming. At that point, why put it out?”

During the pandemic, many studios shortened the amount of time that movies screen exclusively in theaters. Before COVID, most films stayed in theaters for 90 days before debuting on home entertainment. Now, some theatrical releases are available to buy or rent within a few weeks. Exhibition executives fear that if Sarandos further shortens windows, the consequences could be dire.

“It has been widely proven that shorter windows would result in lower revenue generation potential for movies,” says Eduardo Acuna, CEO of Regal Entertainment. “These lower revenues would inevitably result in theater closures, which would limit consumers’ ability to see movies in the format that filmmakers originally intended. Furthermore, it would result in job losses and economic harm to surrounding businesses to those theater closings. Ultimately, consumers would be worse off.”

The New York Post reports that Warner Brothers haven’t heard the last of David Ellison: How Warner Bros. Discovery’s CEO decided to sell to Netflix— and why the media giant’s auction may not be over:

In the end, it came down to 75 cents a share – and that means this ain’t over.

On Thursday morning, Warner Bros Discovery received a $30-a-share, all-cash takeover bid for the media giant from Paramount Skydance, sources told The Post. Meanwhile, Netflix offered to buy WBD’s Warner Bros. studio and HBO Max streaming business in a deal that effectively values the whole company at $30.75.

The race looked like a squeaker, but WBD’s board and its CEO David Zaslav announced less than 24 hours later that they had accepted the bid from Netflix. Suffice it to say, Paramount Skydance’s owners – Hollywood mogul David Ellison and his billionaire father Larry Ellison – aren’t happy.

The Ellisons, in fact, are livid – and they are now angling for a counterattack, I am told. They also believe they can win this battle by taking their case directly to WBD shareholders, according to three people with direct knowledge of the matter.

“They are really pissed over at Paramount Skydance,” said a media executive with direct knowledge of the matter. “They think this was a rigged deal process because of the friendship between the CEOs and they’re betting the shareholders will be pissed when they find out what went down.”

Those CEOs would be Zaslav and Netflix chief Ted Sarandos. They have a different view of the events that unfolded over the past 48 hours, according to people with knowledge of the matter.

“(Zaslav) gave them six tries and they still couldn’t beat Netflix’s bid,” said a person close to the WBD chief.

Despite all the static, Zaslav, known as Zas in media circles, is said to be open for another counterbid from the Ellisons. Anything is possible before any merger closes – particularly one like this where the competition was some of the fiercest in recent corporate history, according to people close to the WBD chief.

“If the Ellisons come back with something more than $30 a share, possibly around $35 that pays off the Netflix breakup fee they could be the owners,” said a person at WBD. “And it’s very possible they will, and when they do this is not over. We will have to sit down and think about what to do next.”

Stay tuned. Earlier this week, Christian Toto described 2025 as “The Year Late-Night TV Collapsed.” Far worse, seeing a movie on a big screen with an audience may also be in its twilight as well. But this is what happens when an industry decides to commit ritual seppuku.

John Podhoretz begins a lengthy Twitter/X thread thusly:

Read the whole thing.

HEY, DID YOU MANAGE TO MISS? From Sarah A. Hoyt:  No Man’s Land: Volume 1 (Chronicles of Lost Elly).

Sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic.

On a lost colony world, mad geneticists thought they could eliminate inequality by making everyone hermaphrodite. They were wrong. Catastrophically wrong.
Now technology indistinguishable from magic courses through the veins of the inhabitants, making their barbaric civilization survivable—and Publius Cornelius Scipio Africanus Kayel Hayden, Viscount Webson, Envoy of the Star Empire—Skip to his friends— has just crash-landed through a time-space rift into the middle of it all.
Dodging assassins and plummeting from high windows was just the beginning. With a desperate king and an archmagician as his only allies, Scipio must outrun death itself while battling beasts, traitors, and infiltrators bent on finishing what the founders started: total destruction.
Two worlds. One chance. No time to lose.

In case you’re worried it’s that kind of book, it’s not that kind of book.   Meaning that yes, “that seventies cover” is intentional, because when I was discussing it with the “sanity check” (well, as much as any) fans they said the problem was nothing much like this had been published since the early nineties, and most wild space opera was published in the seventies. So… it got that seventies (early eighties, maybe) cover, with bling and all.

Still worried?  Have some K-Pop!

“I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THIS, BUT I’M GLAD WE WENT TO COLLEGE.”