April 12, 2026

GEORGE MF WASHINGTON: When Hollywood Did It Right: Pirates of the Caribbean.

Will Turner’s fire is lit, his adventure begun, with the help of another classic story trope… the older wiser mentor figure who is at best wildly eccentric and at worst completely insane. This trope too goes back to the very beginning of Western storytelling, but we see it very clearly in many of today’s most popular mass entertainment franchises, some of which are still throwing off sequels, prequels and reboots, from “Star Wars” to “The Matrix” to “Point Break” to “Highlander.” The twist with “Pirates of the Caribbean” is that Johnny Depp did too good a job with Captain Jack Sparrow and accidentally whoopsied himself right into the lead role.

But that was merely a happy accident. Like “Star Wars” and all those other enduring movie examples which we could name, “Pirates of the Caribbean” is a classic male-oriented adventure in both form and function, and that is precisely why it worked so well.

Which brings me to the female lead, Elizabeth Swann, played by Kiera Knightley. Elizabeth is beautiful, of course, but also smart, funny and capable… she is for all intents and purposes a classic Hollywood “modern woman.” But here is the most critical piece, she is a modern woman within the context of the world in which she lives… a world that is a Georgian Era Patriarchy which exists on a distant island colony run with ruthless discipline by the officers and men of the Royal Navy. As such, the men in Elizabeth’s orbit do not cower before her superior intellect, nor are they driven to their knees by her unparalleled strength and wisdom. And she is certainly not a ninety-five pound Scarlett Johansson throwing two hundred and seventy pound men across rooms like they were Jenga blocks.

Elizabeth Swann is simply a woman, emotional and flawed and heroic, in all the ways we used to understand makes a woman, in the days before The Culture decided that being a woman was not enough.

And now I’m going to write something that should not be controversial, but which has become so here in our highly politicized “modern culture.” I’m going to write very clearly and deliberately so that I cannot be misunderstood… and yet I will be misunderstood, deliberately so, because the activists whose grift is based on pretending to misunderstand the most fundamental things about human nature can allow it to be no other way, lest their lucrative grift collapse entirely.

So, here goes… men and women are fundamentally different and often want different things from the entertainment they consume. Generally speaking, women are not as interested in adventure movies like “Pirates of the Caribbean” as men are, and are less likely to pay to see them in theaters. Notice I did not say all women are disinclined to see these kinds of movies, I said that generally speaking, men prefer them more than women do.

By the same token, the audiences for movies like “Hamnet” and “Wuthering Heights” are overwhelmingly female, something I have never heard anyone suggest is a societal problem that needs to be remedied by fundamental industry-wide changes in the way those movies are developed and made. And yet this is precisely what has happened at companies like Marvel, DC and Lucasfilm, where the stubborn refusal of women to attend action-adventure movies in the same numbers as men is treated like some kind of national emergency. When it comes to romantic dramas, on the other hand, we seem to understand that men and women want different things from the movies they consume… and that’s OK.

(Slight pause so that all those readers who have just fainted can be revived)

We good? Everyone still with me?

Keep your fainting couch nearby and read the whole thing.

Posted at 10:52 am by Ed Driscoll

DISPATCHES FROM THE MEMORY HOLE:

So why now? California ended up “with eight Democrat candidates and two GOP candidates in the primary, and depending on what poll you consult, it is possible that two Republican candidates might emerge as the two top primary winners, guaranteeing a Republican governor emerges in the general election. In other words, the distorted, undemocratic system installed in California by the Democrat majority is backfiring on them, and now they are scrambling to save themselves—and the only way to do that is to dilute or eliminate the support to one of the leading Democrat candidates, thereby kicking that support to another Democrat, thereby guaranteeing that at least one Democrat is on the ballot in November for the two-candidate general election. And Eric Swalwell is the designated fall guy.”

Posted at 8:45 am by Ed Driscoll

CHRISTIAN TOTO: Will Public Accept Sanitized Michael Biopic?

The April 24 release was slated to begin in 1993, when Jackson was first accused of sexually inappropriate contact with a minor.

Not anymore.

Those moments, and others allegedly shot for the movie, didn’t make the final cut, according to Variety. Nor did other problematic chapters of his life.

But the sequence with investigators who arrive at Neverland Ranch to search for evidence is one of many that were left on the cutting room floor. “Michael,” which Lionsgate will release in the United States on April 24, was supposed to explore the impact of the allegations on Jackson’s life, with much of its third act devoted to the scandal. But that finale was scrapped, along with any mention of the child molestation accusations, according to sources with knowledge of the production.

Why?

Variety ticks off two reasons. One, recent Jackson projects have done something similar, and the public outcry has been limited or non-existent.

Two, the legalese tied to the movie helped make this sanitized version possible.

The third, unofficial reason? Team Jackson had a heavy hand in the production and is invested in the film’s financial future. And the King of Pop’s, too.

Will the public cry foul or marinate in the memories? Those box office predictions suggest the latter.

Flashback: The sexual predators everyone still worships.

Posted at 8:14 am by Ed Driscoll

“SO TO SUMMARIZE: Iran played its biggest card and the main result is that the United States became the world’s emergency gas station and China’s cheap energy subsidy evaporated.”This is either the most elaborate coincidence in the history of geopolitics… or someone planned the sequence Venezuela -> Iran -> profits! I’ll let you figure out which one.”

Posted at 7:45 am by Ed Driscoll

GREAT MOMENTS IN HARD-HITTING INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM:

Tavares describes himself in his X profile as “Undisputed champion of East Bay politics. Author of East Bay Insiders, the must-read newsletter for East Bay political and local govt watchers.”

Guys, say it with me: Just think of the media as Democratic Party operatives with bylines, and it all makes sense.

Evergreen:

Posted at 7:14 am by Ed Driscoll

THIS:

Hell, it’s looking like we didn’t even invent war. And capitalism is good.

Posted at 7:00 am by Glenn Reynolds