LOOKS COOL, SMELLS LIKE CRAP: Is smoking making a comeback? Celebrities like Kylie Jenner and Hudson Williams are making it look cool again.
March 20, 2026
THE AFTERLIFE’S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD:
'Fear Not!' Says Chuck Norris To Calm Trembling Angels https://t.co/11xKJ4bgS2 pic.twitter.com/i8fwloytn6
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 20, 2026
STAY SAFE: Biometric Gun Safe for Pistols 3-Ways unlock Fingerprint. #CommissionEarned
NOW DO YOU GET IT, AUSTRALIA?
BREAKING: Australian Prime Minister Albanese went to a Sydney mosque for Eid prayers to stand against Islamophobia, only to end up being threatened, with everyone screaming “Allahu Akbar” at him.
He just sits there terrified, not knowing what to do.
— Dr. Maalouf (@realMaalouf) March 20, 2026
I WONDER WHERE IT CAME FROM? A meningococcal disease outbreak is spreading in the UK. Here’s what to know.
WORKFORCE PELL GRANTS ARE COMING. IS THAT GOOD? I’m always skeptical about throwing more money at colleges. If folks actually get some useful skills out of it, though, that would be a nice change.
SO WE HAVE THAT GOING FOR US, WHICH IS NICE: China Not Committed to 2027 Taiwan Invasion, U.S. Intel Report Says. “The intelligence community’s latest assessment reverses course on predictions from Pacific-based U.S. military leadership that has shaped battleforce strategy for the past six years.”
I suspect Beijing might be reassessing things in recent months, too.
YES:
Elon Musk reveals the deeper purpose of becoming a multiplanetary species:
“Having two planets that are both self-sustaining and strong is going to be incredibly important for the long-term survival of civilization
The goal is not just to visit Mars – it’s to ensure the light… pic.twitter.com/TyriZkCU7r
— X Freeze (@XFreeze) March 19, 2026
THE COMEY FOLLIES: When ‘I Don’t Recall’ Meets a DOJ Subpoena.
WOW:
Life comes at you fast. pic.twitter.com/k3EdbyPZEl
— 𝐍𝐢𝐨𝐡 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐠 🇮🇷 ✡︎ (@NiohBerg) March 20, 2026
PRIORITIES: Pittsburgh Public Schools earn poor marks for NFL draft closure.
In an email to district staff, Superintendent Wayne Walters said students will shift to remote learning for three days to minimize disruption and keep the focus on instruction. The NFL draft, taking place in downtown Pittsburgh, is expected to draw as many as 700,000 visitors, according to the Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership.
Pittsburgh Public Schools operates 54 schools that serve students from kindergarten through 12th grade. Only one of those schools is located in the city core, while most are miles from the event. With a total enrollment of around 20,000 students, the decision affects not only students but also caregivers and the students at 136 private, parochial, and charter schools who rely on the district for transportation.
The district has to reschedule the Pennsylvania System of School Assessment testing to later dates that have not been released due to the closure of in-person learning.
In a news release Tuesday, Waters said the district’s priority is maintaining continuity of learning while recognizing the extraordinary circumstances the city will experience during the NFL draft.
Pretty sure we learned during the stupid COVID lockdowns that remote learning is BS.
“AFROMAN WILL BRING IT TO YA”: Afroman reminds the world that that you can mock power without fear in this country, because we are a free people.
WHAT’S NOT SO AMAZING IS THAT HE ALSO APPEARS TO BE LYING:
kind of amazing that Trump argues the investigations into him & prosecutions of him were political & partisan, everyone tries to argue they weren’t & that the DOJ is apolitical, then this guy blows those defenses up by explicitly running on his anti-Trump role to win an election. https://t.co/wjUWxiMnWH
— Jerry Dunleavy IV 🇺🇸 (@JerryDunleavy) March 20, 2026
I just checked the "Service" list in ECF for all 3 Oath Keeper cases — there are probably 50 attorneys who made appearances of record in the cases for the two sides combined.
Your name doesn't appear. https://t.co/pJDxayB9hQ
— Shipwreckedcrew (@shipwreckedcrew) March 20, 2026
2021-2024 WAS JUST A WARMUP ACT FOR WHAT THE DEMS ALREADY OPENLY ADMIT THEY’LL DO FROM 2029 ON:
Important. Trump supporters were bankrupted for nothing – just being ‘bad people’ for supporting Trump. Same thing many times over awaits a lot of people in 2029 if democrats win. https://t.co/HNRujHHPtZ
— FischerKing (@FischerKing64) March 20, 2026
You wonder what they haven’t openly admitted they’ll do?
PRIORITIES:
It is morbidly funny that we take 25 years to build a transit station but we can get all the Cesar Chavez memorials down in 12 hours. https://t.co/ysW1tejMpy
— Dilan Esper (@dilanesper) March 20, 2026
BECAUSE DEMOCRAT. NEXT QUESTION? Why Is a Democratic Governor Undermining a Conservative Conservation Success Story?
WHEN “GENUINELY WILD” HAS BEEN S.O.P. FOR A DECADE:
It’s genuinely wild that the New York Times did a piece talking about how Cesar Chavez was raping little girls but still felt the need to make the antagonist Trump. pic.twitter.com/2IVOm7KJmp
— Carl Paulus (@CarlPaulus) March 20, 2026
SCHRÖDINGER’S AYATOLLAH: Iran Releases Video of Supreme Leader Khamenei Amid Health Speculation. “Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting (IRIB) posted the clip on X, describing it as footage of Khamenei delivering religious instruction. The broadcaster did not provide details on when the video was shot, raising questions about whether it was an archived recording.”
Questions, eh?
Previously: Introducing Schrödinger’s Ayatollah.
NAH, THAT’S NOT CREEPY:
With @Grok, we keep the honest versions and kill the bad transformers (I believe they are called “Decepticons”) https://t.co/M9CeXCJOKG
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 20, 2026
